It’s SO freaking interesting that I selected The Tribe card in our Time-Out Tuesday fun. Community, a sense of belonging, a feeling of being seen and understood in the world.
This is something I have now, but it wasn’t always this way for me. I remember just 5 short years ago when I was working in NYC, a place we usually don’t associate with being alone, I felt…..lonely. Apart from the rest, and like there were so few people who “got” me.
Now, this is NOT to say that I didn’t have friends, I did! I had a few wonderful friends who I loved and counted on (still do!). But what I didn’t have was a community, a sense of belonging and inclusion. And the funny part was that I didn’t think it was MY responsibility that I didn’t have this in my life. As if the chips fell where they fell and I was just left out of ALL of the collective groups of like-minded people who shared their hopes and dreams with each other, helped one another, and created BIG (or small!) things in the world together. I was simply left out of any of it by a swish of the cosmic wand. I played no part in any of it.
Five years later and so much has changed. I moved across the country, made friends in places in never thought possible, began coaching wicked -smart, successful entrepreneurs and corporate leaders and co-created The Intentional Life Lab with Natalie Siston and John Neral – two amazing coaches and incredible humans.
So what was the big change I made, what led to this total turnaround in my life and career? Simply put, I just started showing up. I started talking to people I never would have – this was scary! I started going to networking meetings I NEVER in a million years would have gone to in the past. I started writing and creating and posting and asking. And I did all of this because the fear of what my life would be if I DIDN’T do it was GREATER than the fear of actually doing it. I had reached my “tipping point”. (Or…had I actually CREATED my tipping point? ) The point where things MUST change, they can no longer stay the same. I battled the nervous feelings of not being accepted, being laughed at, misunderstood, and even downright hated. But, these were all MY feelings and fears, my gremlin (or inner critic) trying so hard to keep me safe and small.
Feelings can be really tricky that way. We think they are a real representation of what is going to happen. When in fact they are just our gremlins talking, wispy shadows of our past trying desperately to stay alive in our future by keeping us safe. And small.
Where do YOU need to show up? What kind of tribe do you belong to? What kind of tribe can you build? Because you, my dear, hold that magic wand.